


Chris being Chris

by genericfanatic



Category: Parks and Recreation
Genre: Gen, Unrequited Love, not a shippy fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-03
Updated: 2017-12-03
Packaged: 2019-02-09 21:59:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12897708
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/genericfanatic/pseuds/genericfanatic
Summary: Ben tells Ann and Leslie a story about Chris Traeger to help Ann get over her breakup that she only just realized was a breakup.Takes place during "Indianapolis"





	Chris being Chris

**Author's Note:**

> I was feeling depressed and binged parks and rec and so expanded on this headcanon that I've had for a while

“Oh, so that’s why you tried to kiss him,” Ben said, in a weirdly good mood after spending time with Tom, “We were all seriously confused by that.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Ann whined, “What are you—Oh, God.” She slumped and put her head on the bar while Leslie massaged her back, glaring daggers at Ben for hurting her best friend. 

“Uh…hey,” Ben said, trying to figure out a way out of this hole he’d dug for himself, “Look, it’s definitely not you, you know? Chris has avoided conflict…basically his entire life. And it’s confused and hurt more people than you know.”

“Yeah…” Ann said, lifting her head, “I mean that’s the thing? How can I even be mad at him when he was so nice?”

“The eternal question,” He said, “Look, if it makes you feel better, this isn’t just you. At least you were actually dating him at some point.”

That perked Leslie and Ann’s interest. “Wait,” Leslie, said, “This…happened before?”

Ben took a deep breath through his nose. “There was this guy back at our office who was this real stickler, I mean, just closed off and grumpy and…honestly really mean. Like, nobody wanted to hang out with this guy.” He took a swig of his drink, “So Chris decided to make it his personal project to get the guy to open up. And he was really nice to him and they hung out all the time, all that stuff. Turns out, the guy was secretly bisexual, but like, deep in the closet, really deep.”

“Oh no,” Ann said, getting raptured in the story, “The guy thought Chris was flirting, didn’t he?”

Ben nodded. “And that’s how the biggest jerk in our office turned into a bumbling, stumbling awkward mess. Finally, he built up the nerve, pulled Chris to the side and asked him out. Chris, being Chris, turned him down but did it in such a way that he instead offered to be ‘partners’ as in ‘business partners.’ Which, the guy misinterpreted, of course.”

“Wait a second…” Leslie said, putting the pieces of the puzzle together, “Partner, but….” Ben waited patiently for the realization to click, “It…it was you? You were the guy?”

Ben nodded slowly as both Leslie and Ann’s eyebrows shot up into their hairlines. “Oh—Oh my god!” Ann said, “So, wait, what happened?”

“Well, I didn’t try and kiss him,” Ben said, “But he had offered for us to go out and ‘celebrate our new partnership’ which I thought meant a first date. We went out to dinner, there was some awkward hand holding, an argument about the check, a realization in the argument and…well, lets just say if Icetown is my biggest embarrassment, this was a close second.”

“Oh my god, Ben,” Leslie said, “Oh that’s so terrible.”

“Yeah, well. I called in sick the next day, so he jogged to my house. From our office, which was not in walking distance. And we talked it out a bit, he decided he still wanted to be business partners. And we’ve been best friends ever since.”

“Awww,” Both women said.

Ben looked over his shoulder awkwardly and leaned in a bit, “I’d…appreciate if you kept that under wraps, by the way. It’s…not like I’m ashamed, but I wanna run for office and…you know public image and all that and—“

“Hey, no worries,” Leslie said. Ann nodded beside her. “You have our word.”

Ben smirked. “Well, I was hoping I could trust the ‘Queen of the Gays’” Leslie laughed, and even Ann smiled, seeming to perk up from her embarrassment. “Come on, we’re trying to cheer up Tom too, and I don’t have a story about being rejected by a perfume guy.”

The women took their drinks from the bar and went to follow him.

**Author's Note:**

> let me know what you think! my tumblr is dork-empress


End file.
